Dear Diary post #4

29th may 2015

all week the hubby has been busy, and was due to pick the eldest girl up from visiting family so i thought about it and thought il go on the train. i said to him il go on the train saves you going later, no problem he said get your self off ... i sat and thought about it for a while as the youngest has a cold and it was raining. i came to the conclusion i would go thinking about the poor hubby and how tired he would be n all that !


Got back to a pissed off hubby saying i was gagging to get off this morning i couldnt just wait ! :o ermm hellooooo you agreed ! so he went on his usual bitching mode ... cleaning !  now im not the cleanest but im not dirty either just dont go looking under the cushions on the sofa ! lol he had a major bitch about that so i spent most of the night ignoring his arse !

diary post 3

28th may 2015 !

today way a day of sitting at home in the pjs doing nothing ! oh and i enjoyed it !

i worked on a wedding gift for a few hours its looking great !

Dear Diary day #2

27th may 2015

after laying in bed for what seemed hours last night i finally went to sleep ! the things going around in my head it just wasn't good for anyone !

Got up in the same mood i sat in the bathroom for 20 minutes just for peice ! to get myself together, i decided i was going to get myself out of the house ! i am forever sat in there watching the 4 walls, so i took jessica and charlie to time 4 play not far away.

                                                         Charlie wasnt impressed !

                                                             always have nachos there !!

It must have helped because i came back feeling loads better even if the nagging feeling of what if the hubby dont love me and hes just here for the sake of the kids !

he didn't get back until about 8 so by then i had managed to shake the feelings off, he came back along with his friend so couldnt really talk and when we get to bed we couldn't talk either !  If that wasnt proof enough of he still wants me i don't know what is lol !

A post a day ! lets see if i can get a month ! #1

26th may 2015  ....

What a day !!  first i was happy but then for some bizarre reason i felt low and fed up, we planned on going out but a friend we would have met wasn't in so we stayed in.

all day i was grumpy and upset ! at one point i was sat thinking does my husband actually love me or is he here just because there's nowhere else to go.

everytime i get in one of these moods i think of harming myself but i just look at the kids and remember how heartbroken they will be.

it sucks feeling like this it comes from nowhere can't help it why does it happen ?
why can't i just speak to the hubby ! every time i want to i get all upset and can't speak and i think he will tell me to stop being a idiot  i probably am but i cant help it !

on a happier note my charlie bear has learnt to wave !!! <3 how cute !

Mothers Day !

                                                                  Mothers dayyy !!! 
Just another over done day !!  same with everything else !
Mothers day used to intail a bunch of flowers and maybe a card for mum maybe even a meal out.  but ohhh no not these days  mothers expect far far too much !  oh look i got a pandora bracelet oh look i got this this this this and that ! people showing off is all that is lol !

For my mothers day i got a bunch of flowers and 2 handmade cards !  My 10 year old made that card all by her self and the flowers one is what my 4 year old made at school !

Was sorting the tea out ect and my son Aaron came in with another bunch for me ! a bunch of roses !

Me and aaron have a love hate relationship we usually dont get on much and argue over anything  quiet childish really lol

this is why im no good at this !

So i realise i haven't been posting !   i just get my self busy then all the kids are in then i cant do anything hence why  this is why i'm no good at this blogging malarkey !  i just need a swift kick up the but from a few friends to say  get a post wrote mrs !! 

The highs ! Plus a mini low !

all haters leave now :) lol 

The last 2 week i have left my kids alone at home while iv been haveing a blast at the local casino !  everyday we have won money so how can we stop going ? lol  

ok so before you all call the bad mummy brigade my oldest kids 19 and 18 have been keeping an eye on the younger ones, im being a responsable mum there ! putting my kids off having kids for a while lol ! the younger kids all sleep all night and im not gone for long. i make sure i tuck them in before i go and take a phone just incase ! 

  

Its a small casino ! Not as glitz and glam as the tv makes out !

Mini low !  my dearest last born has devoloped a fear of the  dog !  i have no idea why hes not hurt her he walked in and she screamed ..... and does everytime she looks at him :/ 

No words .....

Dearest Diary

This week has been a low week .... not only have i been really low someone i care alot about told me they have depression (i always knew they had just chose to block it out)  and they thought about killing them self  its really upset me because  that person is a close person  and my life wouldnt be the same without them !
We went to visit a dear friend margaret whos 78 year old  she still bounces about like a teen the docs have told her to slow down  because of her heart  but she dont listen she is such a lovly person, you wouldnt think she was 78 lol  !  she lives in skegness with her husband colin we always go for a stroll and a spot of dinner its the one place we feel at ease  and dont come away stressed !

 also this week i visited my father !  now my second born jessica was always frightend of them and others as a baby until the age of 3 i have no idea why or what for  they dont hurt them.
now my littlest one is scared of them  screamed the place down, had to walk out of the room to calm her down she even screamed at my sister. it was horrible i felt so guilty ! if i lived near i would see them all the time she may not be the same ! i really dont know what to do , i think its just the atmosphere  its loud there and quiet at our home  just cant pin point it

Heres a picture of my second born and her grandad a few year back :) x

Proud Mum!!!

This week im a very proud mum !!  My 10 year old Chloe-Marie wrote a 100 peice story and it is going to be published ! the books costing £18 though :/  but i shall be buying !! it will be published in march

This girl has come so far in the last year   she used to be so far behined due to having alot of ear problems  most of which needed hospital treatment ......  but touch wood the last few year she hasnt had a problem ! and has attended school all the time and caught up alot !  she will be going to a normal high school next year not a  special needs school as thought a few year back !

My children

I have 7 children
david who is 22 he has his own little girl
Joshua 21 he has a son
Aaron 19 who lives at home and dont intend leaving anytime soon  much to my annoyance lol
michael 18 we like to think hes inocent but a nosey through his facebook has you thinking other wise
chloe-marie 10 growing up :(
Jessica 4 monster lol
and my latest addition bubba lemon 6 month old charlie

I want to have lots of babies but ghe hubbys not convinced lol




here is my kids david , joshua , aaron , michael, jessica and chloe all in that order :)

and charlie my bubba lemon ! 

Hi ...

Hi im Sharna,
               A few of my mummy friends have a blog and they said its really helped them with there depression ect so i thought i would jump on the bandwagon as they say,
Im 27 years old i live in grimsby Uk, i have 4 stepsons and 3 little girls. i love with my dearest hubby shane.
im not a very big speaker and not the best at writing as you will probably figure out but hey its my blog so il do what i like !
i have always had depression for as long as i can remember but only got help when my second born was born  as it got really bad.
i have a few days recently where i have a wobble  and my friends sugested i write it all down  on blog to help a little.



Here i am with a dear facebook Friend i have met a few times, i met jhar on Emmas diary page on facebook while we was pregnant with our 4 year olds who was born 5 weeks apart ! met a few facebook friends through that page !
we got pregnant at the same time with our latest aswell !  our bubbas are 5 days apart !
im the one with the baby covering her face with a pink dress :)